FLETCH LIVES SCRIPT
( section 7 )

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Laker Jim's Fletch Won Homepage presents Fletch Fans everywhere the 1988 Fletch Lives Script.

A New Section will be added every FRIDAY

(This is not for reprint or sale. This script is solely for entertainment or educational purposes only...enjoy)

PART 1 - BEGINING (1) to FLETCH SENDS GILLET PACKING AND FALLS ASLEEP(47)
PART 2 - FLETCH GETS THE CALL (48) to...ZIP A DEE DOO DAH (55)
PART 3 - FLETCH SEES HIS BELLE ISLE (56) to FLETCH MEETS CALCULUS (67)
PART 4 - FLETCH SIGNS FOR BELLE ISLE (68) to FLETCH "BEN"DS OVER (77)
PART 5 - CALL ME HAM (78) to AN INTERUPTION FROM THE KLAN (91)
PART 6 - WHAT CAN I DO TO YOU...FOR YOU? (92) to BUGBUSTERS (110)
PART 7 - CALCULUS' SHACK (111) to THE 4,323rd TELEVISION MINISTRY (130)
PART 8 - IRWIN, COME ON DOWN (131) to...

Click here to Listen to the Fletch Midi while you read

FLETCH LIVES SCRIPT CONTINUED...

111 EXT. AMANDA'S TOWNHOUSE

Fletch strolls to the van and removes the "Bugbusters" decals. From inside the house we can HEAR the deputy screaming.

112 EXT. BELLE ISLE - NIGHT

Fletch (the teeth are out) has returned in the Cadillac. He sees a strange shadow move on the side of Belle Isle and stealthily approaches. The shadow disappears...he follows in the direction he thinks it has taken, slowly moving around the perimeter of the house. He bluffs the SOUND of a howling dog. Then he hears another SOUND somewhere in the woods, and follows it towards Calculus' shack...Could Calculus be the shadowy figure he has seen?

113 EXT. SHACK - NIGHT

As Fletch approaches he hears the noise of a TV coming from inside. He knocks.

CALCULUS
Who's there?

FLETCH
Avon calling.

The SOUND GOES OFF and the door cracks open to reveal Calculus' wide eyes.

CAL
It's you.

FLETCH
I'd like to talk to you for a minute.

114 INT. SHACK

This is a two-room affair. Cal's sleeping quarters are in the rear. No apparent bathroom. In the front room, a small frog, a 17" color TV and a water bed, with pillows propped up to turn it into a sofa. Next to it, a phone.

CALCULUS
Come on in here.

Calculus adjusts the rabbit ears on his TV to get faint reception. Fletch sits on the "sofa" with some difficulty.

CALCULUS
Sorry about that - but I won it in a raffle,
I had a choice of that waterbed or one of them
full-body herbal wrappers at some place called
Lizbet Ardoon.

FLETCH
There must be an art to sitting on one of these
(not managing)
A lost art. You get the Lakers?

CAL
I'm lucky I get "Wheel of Fortune".
(still adjusting the TV)
So whatcha thinking?

FLETCH
I'm getting the feeling that people
don't want me around here.

CAL
Could be.

FLETCH
You know any reason why anyone
would want to buy this land?

CAL
Insect research. And I bet they
don't pay much for that.

FLETCH
I have an offer for 250,000 dollars.

CAL
(whistles)
Take the money and run.

FLETCH
What do you know about the
Farnsworth Ministry?

CAL
Jimmy Lee Farnsworth? Down here everybody
knows about him. He's on TV all the time.

He flips his remote control.

CAL
(continuing)
Your Aunt Belle used to watch it when she was
laid up. Lot of people smiling and crying and jumping
around asking for money. And people send money...
lots of it. Send it right to the Reverend Jimmy Lee
Farnsworth...and what he does with it is anybody's guess.

115 FULL SHOT - TV

JIMMY LEE FARNSWORTH is on the air, with his gold Rolex and sapphire pinky ring. He wears a blue suit over his pudging fifty-year-old frame.

JIMMY LEE (V.O.)
There's good news tonight, there are miracles
in the air. I know there are a lot of you out
there tonight with questions in your heart. But
the only question that's worth asking and worth
answering is have you been saved.

116 BACK TO THE SHACK

CAL
It's a lot like that Tonight show,
but more commercials.

FLETCH
Hard to believe.

JIMMY LEE (V.O.)
To those of you who are wandering in the
wilderness of sin and frustration we're
here to help you, to give you the key to
peace and contentment. The costs of staying
on the air are enormous...and Bibleland
is only halfway there.

FLETCH
oh yeah, Bibleland.

CAL
(with a wink)
Bible -- land.

117 EXT. THE FARNSWORTH MINISTRY TV CENTER - THE NEXT DAY

Fletch approaches, past a group of clean-cut young men and women dressed in lavender blazers. Fletch is dresses in a polyester suit with a baby blue tie. Audience members are leaving the auditorium, others arriving.

USHER
Immediate seating for the 5 o'clock service

Ushers have clipboards and are filling out cards.

USHER
(to Fletch)
Welcome, sinner.

FLETCH
Praise the Lord.

USHER
Bless you.

FLETCH
Bless him. Bless us. Bless you.

USHER
Name, please.

FLETCH
Fletcher. Irwin Sue Fletcher.

118 INT. CLOSE SHOT - ANNOUNCER

A thin, trimmed moustache twitches. The eyes widen.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen...boys and girls...It's
time for the 4,323rd Television Ministry.

119 INT. THE AUDIENCE - APPLAUDING

Fletch finds his seat.

120 STAGE

The regular cast marches out with a wave to the cameras and audience.

ANNOUNCER
With Mimsy Carlyle.

A forty-year-old woman spins out in a long billowing skirt.

ANNOUNCER
(continuing)
Damon Feather.

A handsome black man does a quick tap step.

ANNOUNCER
(continuing)
The Bradley Family Singers.

Four men in baby blue blazers.

ANNOUNCER
(continuing)
And Dick Medly and the Band. I'm Al Crank...and now -
(drumroll)
-- the host of our show...the Ministry's founder
and your friend...Mr. Good News himself...
the Reverend Jimmy Lee Farnsworth.

The BAND EXPLODES with a riff from "Onward Christian Soldiers" and the audience APPLAUDS. ANGLE - STAGE

JIMMY LEE
We're going to begin this show as we always do.
C'Mon out, Walter Bob Buggem!

A standing ovation for WALTER BOB.

121 WALTER BOB

Pulls out a white handkerchief which he holds strangely in his right hand. His eyes close in an almost trance-like state.

122 ANGLE ON FLETCH

who looks to others in the congregation for behavioral guidance.

123 WALTER BOB

still speechless.

124 THE CONGREGATION

stands again, applauding, moved.

125 FLETCH

stands. Starts to applaud. Too late. Walter Bob speaks.

WALTER BOB
I can say no more.

Walter Bob turns to leave.

126 THE CONGREGATION

near tears.

FLETCH
Yes! God Bless! Yes!

The congregation stares at Fletch. This was inappropriate.

127 JIMMY LEE

returns to the stage.

JIMMY LEE
We have so many more friends in our family
of worship to hear from
(pointing to the stage)
but they can't begin to entertain and enlighten
you, until you light up our phone lines.
(CAMERA PANS to a bank of phones)
These lovely phone ladies are waiting for your
call. No gift is too small...If you can afford a
hundred, give eighty or ninety. If you call tonight,
we'll be sending you a copy of my prayer for peace
suitable for framing.

JIMMY LEE
(who wears a small earphone)
I know there's someone out there tonight
who needs to step forward...Is there a Lyda
Pearl Shindley? Lyda Perl are you with us?

Lyda Perl shoots up from her seat screaming.

LYDA PERL
Me, me??

JIMMY LEE
Come on down!

Lyda Perl arrives on stage.

JIMMY LEE
Lyda Perl, I know you've suffered a great
tragedy when you lost Joe bob in the Merry
Go Round accident at the State Fair.

LYDA PERL
I did.

JIMMY LEE
Even though Joe Bob left you well protected,
these riches haven't brought you happiness.

LYDA PERL
No, they haven't. I've sinned.

JIMMY LEE
We've all sinned. Bless you, child.

LYDA PERL
But I've really sinned.
(Whispers in his ear)

JIMMY LEE
Say it aloud. Cleanse yourself.

128 LYDA PERL

looking uncomfortable.

LYDA PERL
I'm so ashamed. I slept with my
best friend's husband.

JIMMY LEE
Bless you child.

CONGREGATION
(responding to a flashing red "Amen" light)
Amen.

LYDA PERL
And I also slept with my Uncle James.

JIMMY LEE
Bless you child, you are forgiven.

CONGREGATION
Amen.

JIMMY LEE
Ladies and gentlemen, doesn't this take
courage to come up on nationwide TV
to confess your human frailty. AL, would you...

LYDA PERL
I shoplifted this blouse from Sheerie's
Petite Shoppe...

JIMMY LEE
God forgives you.

CONGREGATION
Amen.

LYDA PERL
And I...

Jimmy Lee grabs Lyda Perl's head in his hands.

JIMMY LEE
Demons out!

Lyda Perl swoons. Two attendants rush the stage to carry Lyda Perl off.

129 IN THE AUDIENCE - FLETCH AND A CHURCH ELDER

CHURCH ELDER
She'll receive the V.I.P treatment backstage
---and a personal audience with Jimmy Lee.

Fletch becomes more interested.

130 BACK TO STAGE

JIMMY LEE
Surely there is someone else. Surely
Lyda Perl is not alone.

The CAMERA MOVES IN on Jimmy Lee's left ear, which has something like a small hearing aid.

JIMMY LEE
(continuing)
Surely there is someone whose life is full of
confusion...I sense a recent bereavement. Someone
who has lost an uncle or an aunt.
(eyes closed)
Is there a Mr. Fletcher here? A Mr. Irwin S. Fletcher?

Continued in SECTION 8

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