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FLETCH
LIVES SCRIPT For the first time on the net... Laker Jim's Fletch Won Homepage presents Fletch Fans everywhere the 1988 Fletch Lives Script. A New Section will be added every FRIDAY (This is not for reprint or sale. This script is solely for entertainment or educational purposes only...enjoy) |
PART 1 - BEGINING (1) to FLETCH SENDS
GILLET PACKING AND FALLS ASLEEP(47)
PART 2 - FLETCH GETS THE CALL (48) to...ZIP
A DEE DOO DAH (55)
PART 3 - FLETCH SEES HIS BELLE ISLE (56) to
FLETCH MEETS CALCULUS (67)
PART 4 - FLETCH SIGNS FOR BELLE ISLE (68)
to FLETCH "BEN"DS OVER (77)
PART 5 - CALL ME HAM (78) to AN INTERUPTION
FROM THE KLAN (91)
PART 6 - WHAT CAN I DO TO YOU...FOR YOU?
(92) to BUGBUSTERS (110)
PART 7 - CALCULUS' SHACK (111) to THE
4,323rd TELEVISION MINISTRY (130)
PART 8 - IRWIN, COME ON DOWN (131) to...
Click here to Listen to the Fletch Midi while you read
FLETCH LIVES SCRIPT CONTINUED...
Ham turns and approaches Fletch.
78 EXT - COURTHOUSE - DAY
Fletch and Ham Johnson walk down the granite stairs of the courthouse. Ham carries a copy of the local paper.
HAM
Not enough evidence to hold you, just a petty
form of intimidation, puttin' you in a cell
with that Neanderthal.
FLETCH
We were getting close to dueling banjos in there.
HAM
It's so embarrassing that this sort of thing still
goes on in the New South. Of course, twenty years ago
a Yankee like you could have been lying in a ditch...
I'm assuming that you had nothing whatsoever to do
with the death of Amanda Ray.
FLETCH
I sure hope not.
HAM
I was so shocked to hear about this. She was
such a dear friend...So tragic when it happens
to someone so young and healthy. Was she feeling
alright last night?
They reach his new jeep.
FLETCH
She felt great to me.
HAM
Did she say anything that could make you
suspect somebody was after her?
FLETCH
Nope.
HAM
Get in. I'll run you down to Belle Isle.
FLETCH
Thank you, Mr. Johnson.
HAM
Call me Ham.
79 EXT./INT. JEEP - COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
They drive towards Belle Isle.
HAM
My, my, don't you enjoy smelling
this soft Southern air?
A beat.
HAM
(continuing)
That's my place over there.
He points off.
80 EXT. ROAD - AS CAR COMES TO STOP - HAM AND FLETCH
80A EXT. HAM JOHNSON'S ESTATE - POV
It's a small but beautifully maintained plantation home. The front has an expansive lawn.
80B HAM AND FLETCH
HAM
Mama had the charity to leave me this house
and a few pecan trees. If you like pecans,
Mr. Fletcher, you're more than welcome to
come over and pick up as many as you can.
The squirrels just eat em now. Have a regular
smorgasbord. Mama was so fond of pecans,
she used to fight the squirrels for them.
81 EXT. HAM'S CAR - APPROACHING BELLE ISLE - DAY
It is late in the afternoon as Ham's car pulls up the road. Ham looks the house over.
HAM
My place is right over that ridge-- what my
dear mother used to call "close enough for a
stroll but too far to spit."
FLETCH
Strong imagery...
HAM
Belle Isle surely has fallen on hard times.
FLETCH
Well, it's home.
HAM
You do have plans to restore it, I hope.
FLETCH
Sooner or later - right now, I just want
some peace and quiet.
HAM
I'm sure you'll grow very fond of Belle Isle
in time. Might I give you some personal advice?
FLETCH
Is it free?
HAM
Oh, absolutely. To the Sheriff and his crowd
you're an outsider...guilty in spite of law.
FLETCH
Should I get out of town before sundown?
HAM
(laughs)
No, it's not that bad, but they can make it mighty
uncomfortable for you. If I was looking for peace and
quiet...Well, it'll take time. Just be patient.
FLETCH
(getting out of jeep)
Ham, thank you.
They shake hands.
HAM
My pleasure.
The car pulls away. Fletch crosses to the tarp-covered Cadillac. He pulls aside the tarp. and sits behind the wheel, looking for a key. Suddenly, Calculus appears behind him.
CALCULUS
Well, welcome back...
FLETCH
Does this car run?
CALCULUS
Miss Belle stopped driving it when the breaks
went out. But I run a few errands. It works fine,
but if you want to stop, you gotta think ahead.
82 INT. HOUSE
The walk in the musty hallway and up the staircase.
CALCULUS
Tried to get things straightened up for you.
FLETCH
That's nice.
83 INT. BEDROOM - DAY
Fletch walks through a cobweb high in the corner of the doorway. The room has a bed and a tiny bath. This is the one room Aunt Belle kept in good shape. There are a few pieces of furniture: a rocker and a table. Fresh linen on the bed.
CALCULUS
Your Aunt Belle, she just lived in this
one room. Didn't take up much space.
FLETCH
(busy with cobweb)
You didn't see a spider, did you, Cal?
CALCULUS
Spiders is good. They fight off cockroaches.
84 EXT. - PORCH - DUSK
Fletch and Calculus have pulled up rocking chairs. Fletch plays the harmonica. Some food cartons by their chairs, they rock, gazing out across the empty field as the sun sets. A HOOT is heard.
CALCULUS
Mr Owl...
FLETCH
This is what I came here for.
CALCULUS
You came here for owls?
FLETCH
Naw. Nature.
CALCULUS
Yes suh. Nature.
FLETCH
Calculus, do me a favor. Don't call
me sir, call me Fletch.
CALCULUS
Sure enough, you can call me Cal.
A whap, as Fletch smashes at his right arm.
FLETCH
Damn, what was that?
CAL
Them mosquitoes are on the prowl.
FLETCH
I thought it was a bat. I think it spoke.
He slaps again.
CAL
They do grow big in this swamp.
They can kill a possum.
FLETCH
How come they're not biting you?
CAL
I rub down with some ten weight motor oil. That
does the trick. Keep it in my shack.
(He points off)
If the bugs get real mean, you use kerosene and
mustard seed.
FLETCH
Bet you have to cut down on your smoking.
Pause.
CAL
Peaceful.
Pause.
FLETCH
Very peaceful...
CAL
(nods) Peaceful, it is.
Fletch sighs and looks to his left:
85 POV
Fifty yards away, an aenemic cross burns on the ground. In the shimmering light, they see the robed figures of the KKK trying to keep the cross illuminated with matches and Zippo lighters.
86 ANGLE - FLETCH AND CALCULUS
Calculus rises from his chair, eases off the porch. His face is taut.
FLETCH
Friends of yours?
CAL
(surprisingly calm)
Nothing to me.
(exits from scene)
87 EXT. KKK RALLY - FULL SHOT - NIGHT
The KKK Rally is in full flow. There are thirteen KLANSMEN in their robes. The leader is a small fat man. He carries a bullhorn.
KKK LEADER
(on bullhorn)
Let this be a warning to you.
(he is reading from a note card)
The loyal sons of the white race will not allow
any kind of alien infection to invade our beloved
land. We don't want your kind around here! Go back
where you came from, you son of the devil!
(he turns to another Klansman)
Is he a Jew?
KLANSMAN
I don't rightly know.
KKK LEADER
(chanting)
Scum...scum...scum...go back to where you from!
It is a puny chant by the Klansmen. The scraggly troop is now joined by a fourteen Klansman in a crude bed sheet. He chants with them. The KKK leader takes sudden notice.
FLETCH
Sorry I'm late.
The KKK Leader scowls.
KKK LEADER
Who goes there?
FLETCH
Henry Himler.
KKK LEADER
What Klaven Klaims you?
FLETCH
Kalifornia Klaven -- Whiteville.
KKK LEADER
California.
FLETCH
I was just passing through town...looking for
something to do for the evening. The Rotary wasn't
meeting...then I heard about this.
KKK LEADER
Welcome, Henry. I'm the Grand Kleagle.
A strange secret handshake ensues.
FLETCH
What's the occasion here?
KKK LEADER
Undesirable carpetbagger...I think.
Suddenly, a shotgun BLAST rips through the trees.
88 EXT. WOODS - MED. SHOT - CALCULUS
He hides in the wood, reloads and FIRES another shot in the air.
CAL
Here I come.
89 FULL SHOT - KLAN GROUP
The first BURST gets their attention and the SECOND SHOT stampedes the herd. They hike their skirts and are off through the brambles.
90 MED SHOT - FLETCH
He picks up the abandoned bullhorn and uses it to add more effects.
FLETCH
Zulu -- Zulu --Zulu.
He ad libs native African blither. Another BLAST and Fletch follows after them at a leisurely pace.
91 FULL SHOT - TRUCKS - NIGHT
The Klan boys have retreated to their vehicles. The trucks are parked off the highway and the Klansmen are taking off their sheets and piling in.
KLANSMAN
(to KKK leader)
You didn't say there was gonna be any gunplay.
KKK LEADER
(taking off his sheet)
You're scared of your shadow.
KLANSMAN
I saw you running too.
He is off in his pickup. Fletch returns the bullhorn to a disconsolate and depressed KKK Leader.
FLETCH
You dropped this.
The KKK Leader studies him.
KKK LEADER
They got some mean nigras down in those swamps
...still speak some African dialect.
FLETCH
(taking off his sheet)
And they're hard to see in the dark.
KKK LEADER
You can't say...could have been one...
could have been a thousand. Hell, it aint
like the good old days...I couldn't get but
thirteen to show up tonight. And five of them
was green auxiliaries...stand-ins, you might say.
FLETCH
We call them Klookies.
KKK LEADER
Klookies? That's good. Of course, this
was just a contract job.
FLETCH
Contract job?
KKK LEADER
Things have got so bad...we rent out. Last
year we opened a supermarket and were part of
the half time ceremonies at a tractor pull. But
the low point was when we got ten bucks for signing
"He's a Jolly Good Fellow" at some guy's birthday.
FLETCH
What's wrong with that?
KKK LEADER
The guy was black.
FLETCH
(with the utmost sympathy)
Times are rough...
More to come next week!
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